Sunday, March 24, 2013

300+ Day Update

Not even a round number of days, but I'm updating anyway. Shrug.

1. Have two happy kids and a happy husband. (Kermit has his moments of total despair, because, you know, he's two. But otherwise, yes, they're happy.)

2. Lose 50 pounds. (Hahahahaha! No progress on this one. None. But I do have a fitbit now, so at least I have a pretty good idea of why I'm not losing weight.)

3. Work in a job that I enjoy (again). (Totally there right now. I'm loving my job. Still working on the whole work-life balance thing, but then, who isn't.)

4. Buy a new (bigger) house. (We did this one! We did this one! Woo hoo!)

5. Have permanent assigned "homes" for most objects in the house. (Getting there. Still unpacking.)

6. Finish Kermit's baby book. (Ugh. Still haven't started it. And now he's two. I'm a horrible mother.)

7. Make a real baby blanket for Kermit. (Technically done, but I'm leaving it undone anyway. I made him a super-fast one that he could keep at daycare, which he loves, but I want to make him a nice one. One that takes a little time.)

8. Decide on a preschool for LL. (Done! Now we need to decide what to do about kindergarten....)

9. Read 10 non-parenting-related books. (I have totally done this one. S bought me a Kindle for Chanukah. Know what that means? Every night while I sit in the dark keeping a child company until he falls asleep (yep, looking at you, LL) I can read. In the dark. And just like that, I have time to read! I've read more books in the past four months than in the previous four years combined.)

10. Wear sunscreen every day. (The dreary winter has made me slack off on this one. I need to get better now that it's spring. Yes, I know that I'm supposed to do this even in winter. I know I know I know.)

11. Continue wearing makeup every work day. (So far so good.)

12. Wash and moisturize my face every night. (Like the sunscreen one, I'm doing pretty good, but not quite there yet. Also, I keep discovering that I don't like my soap. Or my moisturizer.)

13. Shower regularly. (I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Ew.)

14. Eat salad for lunch 3 days/week. (Up above, where I said that I haven't lost any weight yet? Not doing this one is definitely part of the problem.)

15. Have a fully funded 12-month emergency fund. (Done!)

16. Pay off all debt except the mortgage. (Done!)

17. Bring both kids to visit my parents at least twice. (One down, one to go.)

18. Bring both kids to visit my in-laws at least twice. (One down, one to go.)

19. Finish that iPhone app that I've been talking about for two years. (Not yet.)

 20. Exercise 3 times/week. (No salad, no exercise, no weight loss. Cause, meet effect.)

So ... 9 done out of 20. A little less than 200 days to go. Eh.

For reference, my original 500 Day Goals were posted here.

More normal posts hopefully coming soon.  I have a backlog, truly.  But I am behind in absolutely everything, which is annoying.  Also, they're killing Google Reader, which sucks, because now I won't even be able to stay on top of stuff I want to read, much less write.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Still Alive

Ping! Just posting to say hi, I'm still alive.

Wow, five months between posts. That's really dreadful.

In those five months, LL turned four and settled into preschool; Kermit turned two and learned to talk and jump and imitate absolutely everything LL does; my job improved dramatically; we took a big trip (and are planning another one); and we bought a new house. Whew! No wonder I haven't had time to write!

But I will start writing again. Honest. Just as soon as we manage to sell our old house, and finish unpacking, and get back from this next trip, and ....

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Preschool

LL started preschool last week. Being a September baby, he is right on the borderline for whether he should start kindergarten next year or the year after, so we first had to decide what preschool class to put him in: the "threes" class (where he would be the oldest kid in class) or the pre-k ("fours") class, where he would be the absolute youngest. Given how shy he is, we decided on the threes class, let him be the oldest a bit, hope it would build up his social confidence a little.

Seriously, he's shy. The week before preschool, we went to a birthday party for one of his friends. There were a dozen kids, many of whom he has known his entire life. Two tables were set up with a craft project to work on while the kids arrived. All the kids were sitting at one table; LL insisted on sitting at the other table, as far away from the other kids as possible. And then he just quietly sat at the table holding my hand and not wanting to do the craft. Other than whispering things in my ear, he didn't speak the entire time we were there. He only participated in activities for which he could stand at the periphery and hold my hand.

He does much much better in smaller groups, and even better if he's on familiar turf. But even under ideal circumstances, he takes about an hour to warm up and feel comfortable. Which is fine, he might just always be a shy kid, but it made me hesitant to throw him in with a bunch of older kids, especially since he's also short for his age.

Also... with a few temporary blips, he has been at the same small home daycare since he was 5 months old. He has never before needed to transition to a totally new environment before.

All of which adds up to this: I was really nervous about him starting preschool. Yep, me. LL, on the other hand, was full of pure excitement. For several weeks before school started, he told everyone who would listen that he was a big boy now and he was starting preschool very soon! Real school! Like a big boy! With teachers! And he was going to learn stuff!!! And have a lunch box!

And after this speech, he would turn to me and say, "And you're going to stay at school with me, Mommy, right?" And I'd say, "No, I'll be going to work, and then I'll pick you up again and bring you home for dinner, just like at Natasha's." And then he'd get a little more quiet.

We repeated that whole thing, every day, for several weeks. And I was convinced that the first day of school was going to involve lots of crying while holding onto my legs and begging for me to stay.

But you know what? He did awesome. No crying. No clinging. And when I came to pick him up, he showed me all around his classroom (and some of the other school grounds) like he was King of the Campus. He loves it, and after one week, he already seems to feel super comfortable and confident.

(Though he still doesn't know the names of any of his classmates. And when he picks what he wants to do when he first arrives, he always picks whatever activity is uninhabited by other kids. And when I ask him what he did during the day, he always just says, "I played with stuff" and refuses to elaborate, as if he's practicing to be a teenager someday.)

So. Preschool. Good.

The preschool, by the way, continues to impress me. Mostly play-based curriculum, based around lots of kid-lead exploration of basic materials. (Sand, water, clay, paint, blocks.) It's a Jewish preschool, so they wrap everything in Jewish values and celebrate holidays in the classroom. The preschool is part of a larger elementary school that teaches Orthodox Judaism, but the preschool is far more secular than the rest of the school (including a large number of completely non-practicing Israeli families). We picked a Jewish preschool for several reasons, some practical (the school holidays line up with when we actually have holidays) and some fairly stupid (he'll get exposure to Jewish holidays that we have never bothered to celebrate at home, being the super-laid-back Reform Jews that we are) but a big part of it was also the ability to put off the "Why don't we celebrate Christmas?" discussion for a few more years. Most important, though, was that they have a very low-key approach to preschool that allows lots of outdoor time, lots of lightly-guided exploration, no pressure to learn "academic" stuff at this age, and small classes.

Also the no Christmas thing.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

100 Day Update....

Wow. Look at that. I'm late for my 100 Day Update for my 500 Day Goals, even though I haven't posted a single time since I posted those goals. More than 3 months. Argh. This blog is almost 4 months old, and I've never gone more than a few weeks between posts before. Oops.

You'd think that in my long bloggy-absence, I would have accomplished a bunch of those goals, not being distracted by blogging and all. But... um... not so much. I've been incredibly busy, but mostly with ridiculous fire-fighting and continuing sleep deprivation.

I need to write a whole slew of make-up posts. And I plan to. But for now: 100 Day Update:

1. Have two happy kids and a happy husband. (They seem relatively happy to me....)

2. Lose 50 pounds. (Hahahahaha! No progress on this one. None.)

3. Work in a job that I enjoy (again). (When I made this list, I was incredibly miserable in my job, and I was also still thinking that I might be laid off, which might have actually been a bit of a blessing. Instead, things are turning around. The job is actually very very good right now. Not perfect. Far from it. But very very good.)

4. Buy a new (bigger) house. (There is progress! But it deserves its own post.)

5. Have permanent assigned "homes" for most objects in the house. (Nope, not yet. But solving #4 will dramatically help this one, too.)

6. Finish Kermit's baby book. (Ugh. Still haven't started it.)

7. Make a real baby blanket for Kermit. (Technically done, but I'm leaving it undone anyway. I made him a super-fast one that he could keep at daycare, which he loves, but I want to make him a nice one. One that takes a little time.)

8. Decide on a preschool for LL. (Done! He started preschool this week! Longer post on this topic forthcoming.)

9. Read 10 non-parenting-related books. (Hahahahaha. No. Not yet.)

10. Wear sunscreen every day. (I'm totally rocking this one. Not every day yet, but I'm probably averaging 5 days/week.)

11. Continue wearing makeup every work day. (So far so good.)

12. Wash and moisturize my face every night. (Like the sunscreen one, I'm doing pretty good, but not quite there yet. Also, I keep discovering that I don't like my soap. Or my moisturizer.)

13. Shower regularly. (I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Ew.)

14. Eat salad for lunch 3 days/week. (Up above, where I said that I haven't lost any weight yet? Not doing this one is probably why.)

15. Have a fully funded 12-month emergency fund. (Technically done, but only because we haven't yet bought a new house.)

16. Pay off all debt except the mortgage. (Silly student loan.)

17. Bring both kids to visit my parents at least twice. (One down, one to go.)

18. Bring both kids to visit my in-laws at least twice. (Not yet....)

19. Finish that iPhone app that I've been talking about for two years. (Not yet.)

20. Exercise 3 times/week. (No salad, no exercise, no weight loss. Cause, meet effect.)

Good golly, that's a pretty depressing start!

For reference, my original 500 Day Goals were posted here.

Next update in November!

Monday, May 21, 2012

500 Days (Again)

I'll admit, it feels weird to be setting up more longish-term goals right now, when I'm barely making it day to day in pure survival mode. Still, I really want to feel like I'm doing something more productive than just figuring out dinner. So, more 500 day goals. Some of them are the same as the last 500 days, because I didn't get them done last time. Hopefully this time, they'll get done. Let's find out!

Also, I'm cheating ever-so-slightly on the actual number of days; I'm setting my goal date as LL's 5th birthday, which is slightly less than 500 days from now, since I didn't post the list in time. Not an ideal start, but oh well.

1. Have two happy kids and a happy husband. (I had the two happy kids on my last list, because when I wrote the list I was trying to get pregnant with number two. But then S got really offended that I wanted the kids to be happy and not him. So… the two kids and the husband I have, but I'll leave it as a goal for them all to be happy. Whatever.

2. Lose 50 pounds. (That's only 1 pound every 10 days. Should be infinitely doable. Embarrassingly, 50 pounds is not my ultimate goal, it's just an intermediate goal. But it will bring me to where I was when I graduated from college, which is better than where I am right now by, um, 50 pounds or so.)

3. Work in a job that I enjoy (again). (Hopefully I can just continue to mark this one off, but I'm not completely betting on the fact that I'm going to be able to stay in my current job for the next 500 days, so it's going back on the list.)

4. Buy a new (bigger) house. (Good lord, this one had better happen a lot sooner than 500 days. Especially since I'm fairly annoyed that it didn't happen in the last 500 days!)

5. Have permanent assigned "homes" for most objects in the house. (Yep, this is carried over from the last list, too. We're planning to sell/donate/eliminate a ton of stuff before moving, which will help. Having a bigger house with a decent amount of storage should help, too. But I need to get this done, because the constant clutter is driving me insane.)

6. Finish Kermit's baby book. (This one should really be "start and finish." I had LL's baby book finished by the time he was 15 months old. And I always swore that I wouldn't be one of those parents who neglected the memorabilia for the second child. So yeah, I'm going to be getting this one done.)

7. Make a real baby blanket for Kermit. (Related to the last item, kinda. I crocheted a really nice blanket for LL before he was born, and he still sleeps with it every night. I started knitting one for Kermit when I was pregnant, but I never finished it, possibly because I made the totally stupid decision to knit instead of crochet, which is never a good choice for me. So I'm going to need to just start over, I think.)

8. Decide on a preschool for LL. (This one obviously has to happen before 500 days. I'm putting it on the list just as a reminder that I need to do it.)

9. Read 10 non-parenting-related books. (Last time I said fiction, but there are several interesting political and economic books that I kinda want to read, and I want those to count. The goal here is reading for fun, and those should count.)

10. Wear sunscreen every day. (I've been slacking. Bad bad bad.)

11. Continue wearing makeup every work day. (I'm doing this now, but it doesn't feel like a real habit yet, so I'm leaving it on the list as a reminder.)

12. Wash and moisturize my face every night. (I've always had awesome skin, so it never mattered if I slacked off on this one. But I'm starting to really see my age a bit, so I should really start developing some good habits before it's too late.)

13. Shower regularly. (Last time, I said that I wanted to shower every day, which never really happened, though I did go through periods where I got to shower a bit more often. But when things get busy, I tend to lose my ability to take the time for myself to actually wash my hair. Which is disgusting. I'm not even asking for it to be every day this time. I just want it to happen on a regular basis. Ew.)

14. Eat salad for lunch 3 days/week. (Related to the weight loss thing. I eat lunch during the week in our work cafeteria, which serves a wide array of high-fat foods. My only options for controlling what I eat are either the salad bar or bringing my lunch from home. Salad bar is faster.)

15. Have a fully funded 12-month emergency fund. (We have this right now, but are likely to dip into it when we move, both because we'll be using some of the cash and because our monthly expenses will be higher because of the new mortgage. So the goal is to get back to that point again.)

16. Pay off all debt except the mortgage. (Yep, haven't paid off that student loan yet, mostly because I'm hoarding cash for the house downpayment. But once we move, I'm paying it off. Mostly because I'm embarrassed that it still exists.)

17. Bring both kids to visit my parents at least twice. (Should be easy. We already have one trip planned.)

18. Bring both kids to visit my in-laws at least twice. (Again, should be easy.)

19. Finish that iPhone app that I've been talking about for two years. (It's not going to make me a millionaire or anything, but (a) I want to figure out how to do it; (b) I'd find it really cool to have an app in the iTunes store; and (c) I really want this app on my phone and nobody else seems to be writing it.)

20. Exercise 3 times/week. (This one also goes with the weight loss one. I need to find a way to make this work in my schedule. I don't know how yet. I predict that this will be the toughest item on this list.)

For random reference, my last 500 Day Goals were posted here.

Once again, I plan to check in every 100 days. So, expect updates:
8/15/2012 (400 days left)
11/23/2012 (300 days left)
3/3/2013 (200 days left)
6/11/2013 (100 days left)
9/19/2013 (deadline!)

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Toddler Fun

Ugh ugh ugh. Things are getting better, little by little. I guess. A tiny bit. My job is a little bit better, but only because I got so tired of the total dejection and apathy and disengagement all around me that I finally just showed up to work one day, gathered all of my favorite coworkers into a room together, and said, "Screw it! Our management sucks, so let's just ignore them and do what we think is important and interesting! Here are three ideas I have for projects that we could do, just us, with very few dependencies on anyone outside of this room, and we could have results to show in a month or less. Who's with me?" As far as I can tell, they were all basically waiting for someone (anyone) to start paying attention and give them some direction, and even though I'm new on the job and have zero authority, I'm better than no one. So, I now have a team. And a project. And we've made good progress on it. And a few people we've mentioned it to think that it will be really cool if we can pull it off.

Of the people working with me on it, one of their managers is clearly kind of pissed at me that I took charge of members of his team without consulting him, but whatever -- he wasn't giving them anything to do, and they were all getting ready to quit, so at least I got them re-engaged at work. One of the managers was hesitant at first, but has since asked to join the project (!). And my own manager is ... I don't know. He's hard to read. He hasn't asked me to stop and go back to what I'm "supposed" to be doing, so that's something. He seems like he's willing to give me a little bit of space, but he will probably deny all knowledge of our "rogue project" if it ends up not working. I'm okay with that for now. It is what it is.

My mother-in-law is still living with us, taking care of Kermit during the day. She's driving me crazy in many of the ways that I expected her to be driving me crazy, but eh, I'll get through it.

I'm still not getting any sleep. It is starting to be a real problem. But I don't feel like I can fix the kids' sleep until we have our house back to ourselves, so I just need to push through for a few more weeks.

BUT, work and sleep and living arrangements are not what I wanted to write about. I want to write about Kermit. Because he is so cute these days!!! Seriously. Really very cute. And I feel like I haven't given an update on him in forever, so here goes.

Kermit is 16 months old. He runs and climbs. He loves being held. He loves being tickled. He thinks everything is hilariously funny, and has the absolute best belly laugh in the whole world.

He is getting very very good at communication, even though he says very few words. He clearly understands everything. Everything. When he wants to be picked up, he does his best to climb your legs until you go ahead and pick him up. If you mention maybe possibly putting him down before he is ready to be put down, he locks his little legs around you with incredible thigh strength and digs his hands into whatever he can grab and shrieks in anger. It is nearly impossible to put him down if he doesn't want to be put down.

He shakes his head "yes" and "no" very clearly. He waves his arms to signal "all done" after meals. When he wants to read books, he gets out a book, hands it to me, then turns around and backs his little tushy into my lap and patiently waits for me to start reading. He wants to read approximately 100 books a day. (The reading is particularly remarkable because even 4 months ago he rarely sat still for a single book, and now he will sit through dozens at a time. Not sure what changed his mind about books, but he is obsessed.) He has favorite books, but will branch out to others if it means he gets to sit in your lap for longer and read. He is starting to flip through books on his own as well, though he still has a bad habit of trying to remove pages. He is obsessed with pictures of dogs.

He says "no" and "dah" (yes) and "uh oh". He went through phases where he said "car" and "look" and "Go Pack!" and "Baba" (Grandma) but they seem to have disappeared again. He does a fantastic fake "Ha! Ha! Ha!" laugh when he wants to be part of the conversation and other people are laughing. But he is multilingual, if you count animal sounds. He says "woof" and "moo" and "baaa" and "meow" and something that I can't describe in writing but it is what a fish says. Also, my very favorite: he says "cockadoodledoo!" His rooster call is without a doubt the most hilariously funny thing he does right now.

He waves bye-bye (to us when we leave; to random people in cars; to neighbors we pass while going for walks; to every single airplane that flies overhead). He blows kisses. He claps. He plays peekaboo. (He covers his eyes with his hands for peekaboo, but even better is when he runs and hides behind furniture, then jumps out with super dramatic presentation and laughs when you jump in surprise.)

He builds towers out of stacking cups. He knocks down towers made out of absolutely anything. He sorts toys into buckets for hours at a time. He loves cars. He loves hugging stuffed animals. He has a turtle puppet that he wears on his wrist like a bracelet.

He is getting pretty good at following commands. "Shall we change your diaper?" makes him turn and walk to his room and wait patiently at his changing table. "Where are your shoes?" makes him bring you his shoes. "Do you want to go outside?" makes him run to the door and frantically try to turn the doorknob, because once there is a possibility of going outside, he must be outside immediately.

He follows LL around all the time, and wants to be playing with whatever LL is playing with. He does not accept that he is younger than LL. He is fearless.

He learns new things every single day. He is getting taller by the hour, which is particularly strange because he was already in the 95th percentile for height at his 15 months appointment, and his parents are not 95th percentile people. (I am short, and S is charitably "average" in height.) He can open every day in the house, he can defeat most of our baby-proofing, and he can now reach almost every surface in the kitchen and living room.

He likes to eat. Everything. A lot. He is always willing to try new foods. He is a bit suspicious of cooked vegetables, but loves raw ones because they are crunchy.

He is super snuggly. He loves being cuddled. He adores being sung to (and quite clearly has favorite songs). He adds appropriate sound effects to a ton of songs. (Does the song mention sleeping? He'll fake a snore for you. Does the song mention a mouse? Wait for Kermit to squeak before you go on. Does the song mention something going "boom!" Kermit will happily yell "Boom!", or perhaps whisper "boom" if it is bedtime.)

And he loves to laugh and smile. All the time.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Enough!

It has been one of those... two months. The kind where everything seems to go wrong and you exist solely in Survival Mode for way longer than you want to, and it seems like time has passed sooooo slowly, except you don't really remember any individual days. I hate it. Hate it hate it hate it.

I've been trying to think whether I have ever been as stressed out as I have been for the past two months. I think the time around my grad school qualifying exam comes closest, but that time I was stressed out about exactly one thing (my qualifying exam). The past two months, I have felt like I'm being assaulted on a bazillion different fronts. I've felt like everything "normal" has been on hold while I try to deal with the various assaults, and as a result, I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water and yet nothing real is happening and nothing is being accomplished.

Did I mention that I hate this feeling?

On the childcare front: Our awesome amazing wonderful nanny Rosie is on medical leave for an undetermined length of time. We frantically started searching for a nanny, a daycare, a friend, anyone who could fill in on either a temporary or a permanent basis, with no notice. We finally found a daycare that we like (recommended from a friend, convenient location, tons of references, been in business for a long time, got lots of happy vibes when we visited) and Kermit will start there on June 1. Which means ... it might still suck, because we haven't tried it out yet to verify anything for ourselves. Paranoid? Maybe. We've been burned before. Still, I'm hopeful. Other than the uncertainty, there's also the small issue of that June 1 date, which means nearly 3 months without childcare for Kermit. My mom flew in for several weeks, but she left on Friday to go back home. S's mom is coming soon to stay with us for three weeks, but that is the most she can do. We still have three more weeks to figure out. And honestly, we have no idea how we're covering those weeks.

On the job front: I spent a month completely convinced that I was going to be laid off. Everybody on my team was convinced that we were all going to be laid off. For that entire month, the only news we got from management was "Yeah, you'll probably be laid off, but we haven't decided yet." For a month. Any idea what that kind of thing does to morale? No work got done. People randomly left the office during the day to go on interviews elsewhere. People stood around the hallways at work openly discussing where they were applying for jobs and how their interviews were going. Several people quit. Several more people were obviously just waiting around to see if they'd get layoff packages. It was insane. When the layoffs were finally announced, they were bad, but not quite as bad as I expected. I still have my job, but most of my collaborators were laid off. The few that weren't laid off have made it clear that they're planning to quit within the next few weeks, as soon as they decide where they want to go next. And they're all standing around moping and complaining, and I can hardly blame them. Personally, I don't want a new job, because I just started this one and before the current mess, I really liked it. But I can't make progress on any of my projects because, um, I can't do them completely by myself. And so I can't decide what I should be doing with myself -- I've put out a few feelers for jobs elsewhere, but I only want to leave if my current job is going to suck long-term (I can wait it out if it is only going to suck for a few more weeks), so I'm not being all that proactive about looking for a new job yet. But part of me thinks that I'm being kind of stupid for waiting around, since most people around me are clearly jumping ship. It is incredibly stressful to show up to work every day without knowing whether you'll actually have anything to work on, and without knowing which coworkers will still be around, and without knowing whether you're doing permanent harm to your career by staying. It sucks. And I don't know if it's going to be any better.

On the sleep front: Kermit erupted seven teeth in the last month. Seven. Which pretty much means that he just wants to be held a lot, particularly between 2am and 5am. (We dose him with ibuprofen at bedtime, but it tends to run out around 2am.) Also, while my mom stayed with us, she slept in LL's bed, which means that LL theoretically slept on the floor, which means that LL woke up every single night and either (a) asked to join us in our bed; or (b) asked me or S to join him on the floor. Either way, it sucks. And it hasn't stopped. And once S's mother is sleeping in LL's bed, it's not going to stop then either. I spend almost every night either holding a teething toddler in a rocking chair, or getting kicked by a restless preschooler.

On the home front: Did I mention that my mother stayed in our teeny tiny house for more than a month? That the only time I have spent alone for the past month has been while I was in the car to/from work, which only takes 10 minutes each way? That I am going completely stir-crazy and I want my house back? That I am enormously grateful to my mother for putting her life on hold to take care of my children, but holy cow, I need space? And ... the grand finale ... in another week, my mother (who is gentle and accommodating and respectful of my house and my habits) is going to be replaced with my mother-in-law? My mother-in-law who judges me for absolutely everything I do and thinks I should give up my career to be a good mother like women are supposed to do and who is the most passive-aggressive person I've ever spent time with and who imposes her own everything on us whenever she visits, which is why we have never before let her actually stay at our house during her (short) visits? No doubt sharing my house with my mother-in-law will decrease my stress quite a bit......

And finally, on the merely annoying front: Our furnace broke, requiring an emergency visit from a repair guy. The faucet in our kitchen broke, requiring a week of using a wrench to turn the water on or off, or (heaven forbid!) to change the temperature of the water coming out of the spout, until the replacement part finally arrived. The doorknob on our front door broke, leaving it perpetually locked, requiring a visit from a locksmith (which hasn't happened yet; the door is currently unusable). And some sort of mammal (mouse? squirrel?) got itself stuck inside the outer wall of Kermit's room one night, and I spent the night sleeping on the floor of his room, armed with a large flashlight, listening to it chewing on the inside of the wall, terrified that it was going to somehow make its way into his room and, I don't know, eat him in his sleep or something.