Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Cycle Day 12

So far, so good. The hot flashes and random crying both continue, but they are more nuisance than serious side effects. I've noticed other small things (dryness everywhere, constant need to pee, inability to sleep soundly) but I don't honestly know what I should attribute to the Clomid, what is just ... me, and what is all in my head.

I'm growing increasingly nervous about tomorrow's ultrasound. Although every once in a while my pelvis feels a little tight, it's nothing like last cycle, so I'm nervous that things are too quiet down there.

I found out yesterday that I'm supposed to take a business trip to Spain in January. I can wait to book the trip until I know a little more about this cycle, but not much longer than that. If I get pregnant this cycle, I should be fine, because I'd be 10 weeks during the trip, which is probably okay. If this cycle doesn't work, though... there's one more cycle before then to try, but if that also fails, then I would likely be ovulating while in Spain, which kind of rules out an IUI attempt. Given all the uncertainty, though, what do I do? Plan the trip, and hope for the ability to adjust my cycle if necessary? Just go on the trip and hope for the best? The uncertainty sucks, because it's been so long that it feels like our lives are "on hold."

At the same time, getting pregnant as soon as possible has to be a priority right now. If the question were whether to skip a career event because I'm pregnant, there'd be no question. But skipping things to try to get pregnant, when at the end of the day I've missed career opportunities and I'm still not pregnant, and have nothing to show for it ... that just sucks for so many reasons. I don't know what the right approach is.

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