Thursday, January 14, 2010

Hysterical

I have a bunch of entries that I've written as half-completed drafts lately but I can't seem to finish any of them. One about job applications. One about deadlines. One about being on clomid again. But they're all kind of depressing, you know? I guess that's where my mind is these days. So, instead, I present you with two lists: Things that Make LL Laugh Hysterically; and Things That Completely Ruin LL's Day. Toddlers are funny little people, aren't they? The pure joy LL gets from random little items cracks me up, but his mood can flip-flop over the most random little insult. An example afternoon in LL's head:

"Look, Mommy! A lime! Isn't it the coolest thing you've ever seen?! I can put it in a box, and then I can take it out of the box! And it rolls! Would you like to see it? Okay, now give it back to me. Now you take it again. Isn't this fun! Now I'm going to roll the lime under the couch. Now I'm going to get it back...... I can't reach it. (crying) I still can't reach it! (more crying) I want my lime!! (Mommy gets the lime) I can't believe Mommy would insult me by getting my lime out from under the couch!!! That is the worst thing that anybody has ever done in the entire history of the world! I must now throw the lime at the couch, then throw myself on the floor and scream. (temper tantrum) Hey look, a car! (hysterical laughing) I'm going to put the car in a box!"

Things that Make LL Laugh Hysterically:
  • Blocks sitting on top of LL's head
  • Cups sitting on top of LL's head
  • Blocks and cups sitting on top of Mommy's head
  • Blocks and cups falling off of people's heads
  • Smiley faces
  • The bear popping out of the bear-popping toy for the 873rd time today
  • Blue tupperware
  • Tangerines
  • Falling down
  • Spinning in circles
  • Tickling Mommy's feet
  • Hiding
  • Monkeys
  • JC Penney catalogs
  • Shaking your head back and forth really fast
  • Squirrels
  • Kangaroos
  • Somebody else's hiccups
  • Taking off socks
Things That Completely Ruin LL's Day and Require Very Loud Screaming:
  • Sitting down to put on shoes
  • Leaving the park
  • Being read the first page of Good Night Moon when you wanted to hear Good Night Gorilla instead
  • Being read the first page of Good Night Gorilla when you wanted to hear Good Night Moon instead
  • Being offered a helping hand so that you don't fall off the jungle gym
  • Falling off the jungle gym
  • Not being clean and out of the high chair the exact second that you announce that you're all done eating
  • Being put in the carseat after 3:15 pm on the second Tuesday of each month
  • When Mommy stops you from being run over by a car
  • Not being allowed to reprogram the TiVo
  • Having a diaper changed without being given exactly two toys to hold during the process
  • Having a diaper changed without being sung to the entire time
  • Not being able to reach the toys that you pushed way under the couch five minutes ago

1 comment:

  1. lmao -- Yes, I think you summed up toddlerhood PERFECTLY.

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