Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Universe Smack-Down

Worst. Week. Ever.

Here are the highlights:

First, I found out that after barely three months at my job, which I've been absolutely loving, it looks like they're going to be restructuring some things and I'm 95% sure that I'm going to be laid off within the next month. Not just me, but my entire organization, as the company decides to totally change emphasis. My manager expects that our entire team, including him and his manager, are all going to be laid off. There's still a small chance that it won't happen, but it's very slim. Ugh. I was so relieved to finally be off the job market, and now it looks like I need to get out there again. Also, this once again forces us to put all new house plans on hold. In the mean time, I haven't actually been laid off yet, but I'm spending each and every day at work surrounded entirely by scared and demotivated people who are all just waiting for the shoe to drop, and it is incredibly depressing. Ugh.

The very same day that the layoff rumors started circulating, I went home to discover that Rosie, the nanny who has worked for us for more than three years, needed to talk to me. She hurt her back a little while ago, and had been waiting for some MRI results to know whether it was serious or not. Her doctor had finally called her, and the answer is: yes, it is fairly serious, and constantly lifting and carrying Kermit is making it worse. Her doctor ordered her to quit her job immediately, start physical therapy, and hope that the therapy will be enough to improve things, or else she'll need surgery. Rosie is hopeful that she'll be able to return to work in 6-8 months, but in the mean time, we are once again without childcare.

To be clear: this is much worse for Rosie than for us, who now needs to figure out how to survive for at least 6 months without income. But it sucks incredibly for us as well. As long-time readers may remember, we have had awful childcare luck over the years. Awful. As I've said many many times, I find the uncertainty around finding reliable high-quality childcare to be the absolute worst thing about parenting. The thought of needing to find someone else, on short notice, has me incredibly anxious and depressed.

It might seem like there is a slight silver lining: if I do get laid off, we won't need childcare, so just staying home with Kermit will save us some money. But, we've lost all childcare for Kermit immediately, but I have not yet lost my job, so being under the threat of layoffs is quite possibly the absolute worst time for me to be absent from work for childcare reasons. Also, even if I do get laid off, I have no idea when it will happen. My manager has given us a likely time frame of "sometime between next week and September," so going without childcare for now because of the possible layoff isn't really an option. And, I will presumably be looking for work immediately if I do get laid off, and it is very difficult to really look for a job while taking care of a needy toddler.

So... my mom is flying in on Sunday to help out. She bought a one way ticket, but I don't think she'll be able to stay for more than a few weeks, just until we line up some sort of childcare. And I'm not sure how this is going to work out, because my mom has back problems as well, so she's not sure that she's going to be able to handle all day care for Kermit, either. Also, I tend to get claustrophobic when I'm stressed out, so it is less-than-ideal to be adding yet another person to our cramped house right when I'm feeling more stressed out than any time since my grad school qualifying exam. If I do get laid off, I'm going to crave space to deal with it more than anything else, and I'm not going to get it at home.

Also, our furnace broke this week, because I clearly didn't have enough to deal with. And Kermit is teething his molars, which is making him cranky and clingy and also gave him diarrhea, leading to the worst diaper rash of his life, which isn't helping. And LL, possibly sensing the stress in the house, decided that even though he skipped the Terrible Twos, he doesn't want to miss out on all the fun, so he has become an absolute terror at home. Defiant, petulant, argumentative, contrary, all just for fun. Oh, and Kermit is still not sleeping, so I'm dealing with everything while also sleep deprived.

So far, not really enjoying being 35.


  1. *hugs*. I hope some things clear up soon for you. Sounds terrible. Keeping my fingers crossed for daycare.

  2. Ugh. I definitely agree about the stress of finding childcare. Such bad news about the job.

  3. Ugggggh. That's a lot to deal with. The no sleep thing is killer on top of everything else. :-/ I'm glad you're getting at least a little help from your mom!

    We've been pretty happy with Sunrise Preschool for little Wiggles - though he has been bringing home a new illness...well, the whole time. He's basically had ear infections since he started. :-/ So...

    Good Luck finding a good solution for your family! And a speedy recovery to Rosie! Back problems are no good.

  4. Good grief. I hope things get easier soon.


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